My Likkle Memories
by YoungSasuke
Summary: Sasuke and Itachi spend some 'quality' time together. But it seems Itachi has a pet... EGG... dresses in spandex, and... What's this? A GIANT QUILT MONSTER? OMFG! Discontinued.
1. Default Chapter of DOOM!

Disclaimer: I'm only going to write this once, so LISTEN UP!! I don't own Naruto, and even though I want to, I never will... *Sobs in a corner* Let's begin this ficcie!! **********************(°°)*******************Kirby! Heee...****  
  
Sasuke was always thought of as a well-built, intelligent child. People began to expect highly from him, and thought that when he got older he would follow orders without question. He was calm, collected, and the heir to the Uchiha clan. Sasuke was also good-looking, so he always had a horde of love-struck pre-teen girls chasing him around.  
  
But Sasuke didn't want the attention. In fact, he hated it. He'd rather be alone, either thinking, or training.  
  
* ** *  
  
It was morning, and the birds were singing. The sun cast a friendly veil over everything, causing the morning dew to rise up in a thin, wispy mist. The sun's rays filtered through a single, decent-sized window and finally lay to rest on a certain jet-black-haired ninja's bed sheets.  
  
His door silently opened, allowing an older, more experienced ninja to sneak in. His loveable, yet soon-to-be psychotic older brother.  
  
Itachi took a deep breath, leaned over Sasuke, and paused. He used this moment to gaze down at his younger brother. His eyes lingered over his brother's pale skin, so smooth and soft... He leaned closer, bringing his face closer to his brother's.  
  
Closer...  
  
And closer...  
  
And shook him awake. "Aaiee! Baka! Watcha doin' to me, big brother?" Sasuke squeaked.(Remember, Sasuke is only five years old in this fic. Itachi is eleven!) "Gomen, Sasuke, we have to go shopping, remember?" Itachi smirked. "It's your turn, since mom and dad left on their mission." "Aaw, man! Go 'way, so I can get dressed!" Sasuke pouted, then brightened up, after thinking for a bit. "Itachi nii-san, after we go shopping, can we play?" He inquired innocently.  
  
"Umm, I suppose so. But only after we buy what we need, and we put it away!" Itachi said sternly.  
  
Sasuke bobbed his head up and down energetically, and ran to his dresser with only the energy a five-year-old has. Itachi walked out of his room after helping Sasuke pick out his clothes.  
  
* ** *  
  
When Sasuke finally came down, fully dressed(thank god! Lol! XD), Itachi pointed to a plate on their table. "Sasuke, eat up. We're going soon. If you're good, I'll get you a surprise."  
  
Sasuke literally pounced on his eggs, and wolfed them down after hearing those few words. When he finished eating, he hopped out of his seat(or rather, waddled... That would be so cute to see... Five-year-old Sasuke waddling... Lol!) over to Itachi, and began pulling on his hand eagerly.  
  
"Come ON, big brother! I'm all done! See?" At this, Itachi stopped washing the dishes, and looked down at his younger brother, who was holding out a yolk-covered plate for him to see.  
  
"So you did, Sasuke!" Itachi raised his eyebrows so that Sasuke would feel proud of his simple accomplishment. And he did. Sasuke beamed proudly at his brother's reaction, then he squeaked, "big brother, Can I try washing my plate?"  
  
Itachi looked down at Sasuke doubtfully, then said, "um, I guess so... But let me lift you up onto the counter so you don't get hurt! I'll supervise you, so you don't try anything I wouldn't."  
  
Sasuke placed his plate, fork, and cup on the ground, so that he could let Itachi pick him up without something getting in the way. Itachi picked Sasuke up, and sat him down on the counter's edge, so that his legs were dangling over the edge.  
  
Then he bent down to retrieve Sasuke's dirty dishes, and planned to place them on the other side of Sasuke, so he wouldn't break them.  
  
Bad idea, being down there so long.  
  
Baaaaad idea.(M.k *Shakes head*)  
  
Because that was when little Sasuke got his curious little hands on the dish soap.  
  
Itachi could hear a little 'squirt', and got up just a little too late.  
  
Soap bubbles were everywhere!! Sasuke laughed in amazement as soap bubbles appeared as if by magic, and Itachi shouted in surprise as his spotless kitchen disappeared in an explosion of lemony bubbles.  
  
* ** *  
  
When Itachi finished scrubbing everything down, he dragged a giggling boy out the front door. He trudged along the long dirt path leading to the market, and listened absentmindedly as Sasuke laughed and gasped in amazement at everything he saw, begging Itachi to explain why they 'were here', and 'why they felt like they did.  
  
As soon as they reached the shopping market, all of the young, five-year- old girls turned around to look at Sasuke, and giggle.  
  
Sasuke quickly adopted a hunted look, and hid behind the safety of his older brother. But right after he shifted position, a pink blur soon crashed into Itachi's legs. Her real target, however, was Sasuke. She was planning on capturing him, somehow, and forcing him to play dolly with him. Who knew what other sick and evil thoughts ran through her head...  
  
Sasuke saw the flash of pink, however, and darted to the door with his super-toddler-speed. He then screamed, "Bloody Murder!"(Which left Itachi wondering how and where the heck he learned that type of language...), and darted into the forest to hide from this new unspeakable evil.  
  
Itachi sighed, and picked up the pink blur, aka Sakura, and handed her over to her mother. He muttered his apologies, and ran after Sasuke, yelling desperately, "Sasuke! Come baaaaaack!!!"  
  
* ** *  
  
Itachi found his little brother hiding in their tree fort(specially built by their father! Lol!), tearing up various random pictures of Christina Agulera and Seinfeld(did I spell that right?), all the while muttering things including "towels" and "soap", and a random sprinkling of "baka" here and there.  
  
Itachi climbed up the rope ladder(Also built by their dad, whatzisname!), and turned to face his younger brother. Sasuke was trembling, and was frothing at the mouth, so he ended up looking like one of those giant bulldogs(those things are so cool! I want one! Lolz! I'll shut up now...), and was completely covered by a blanket.  
  
"Is she gone yet?" Sasuke squeaked.  
  
Itachi sighed, then chuckled at his brother's question. "Haha, she sure is, Sasuke."  
  
Sasuke's frightened appearance soon left him, and he stated formally, "Oh. I knew that. I was just testing you."  
  
After a moment or two, he asked Itachi, "How're we gonna get into the shopping area, Itachi nii-san?"  
  
"I don't know, little brother. I COULD sneak you in there in a sack... Do you want to be put in a sack? It'll be fun..." He said coaxingly.  
  
Sasuke began bouncing up and down energetically, screaming at the top of his lungs, sort of like Naruto, "YEAH! YEAH!! I WANNA BE PUT IN A SACK! PUT ME IN A SACK, BIG BROTHER!!!"  
  
'Geez...' Itachi thought. 'Where does he get all that energy?'  
  
* ** *  
  
When Itachi arrived back at the shopping market, he had a sack slung over his shoulder, which looked like it had a big... bulge in it(ew! Not that way! Sick-mined people...). Suddenly, something began tugging at his hand!!  
  
Itachi squealed like a girl, then looked down. He immediately calmed down, hoping not to ruin his 'image'. What he saw was... Horror of horrors! Sakura.  
  
Sakura squeaked, "Mister Sasuke-kun's brother, where's Sasuke-kun?"  
  
Itachi grinned, and replied, "well, he's in a hiding place. But he's nearby, so don't worry!"  
  
Sakura thought for a moment, which turned into more moments, which turned into many minutes, which turned into even MORE minutes... Itachi coughed quietly, causing Sakura to look up and ask him the question she forgot for a more appealing image of Sasuke.  
  
"Can I help you get what you need, then, Mister?"  
  
Itachi looked down at her, then replied uneasily, "uhh, sure, I guess... But only if it's ok with your mother. You go ask her!"  
  
He watched her waddle off, which happened to take a very, very, VERY long time, until he saw her come prancing back in the way only girls can perfect, with a big grin plastered on her face. "Ok, let's go!" She squeaked.  
  
* ** *  
  
When they finished gathering everything they needed(I keep cutting to things... I find it very funny... Lol!), Itachi and Sakura walked over to the cashier.  
  
Itachi lifted Sakura up, so she could place a can of rice on the conveyor belt. As soon as all of the groceries were payed for, Itachi lowered Sakura to the ground so she could go waddle to her mother. He began placing them in the sack(it was a big sack, ok?), and started to drag the sack on the ground, seeing as how it was now so heavy he couldn't lift it anymore.  
  
"Mphat." Was all that he got out of Sasuke, as he dragged him across the ground, over the doorstep, and finally onto the path that led home. Itachi just smirked at the irony of the situation, even though there was none. That was why Itachi never got a sense of humor.  
  
* ** *  
  
At home, Itachi let Sasuke crawl clumsily out of the potato sack.(YES!! WE FINALLY HAVE A TYPE OF SACK!! M.k *cheers* Me *waves*) When Sasuke finally looked up at Itachi (after shaking all the dizziness out), he asked with the biggest puppydog eyes he could muster, "can we play now?"  
  
Itachi playfully stared at him, replying, "no. not until we put all of these groceries away." He motioned towards all of the groceries strewn haphazardly across the floor. Sasuke pouted and started to gather up some groceries, while Itachi did the rest. After everything was put away, Itachi sat down on his favorite chair(zapped up by M.k! *waves*), and gave out a tired sigh.  
  
Sasuke plopped down on his lap, and imitated -or tried to- Itachi's sigh. Sasuke snuggled up to him to get more warmth, and Itachi put a comforting arm around him. He reached out with the other arm for a blanket that magically appeared out of a vortex of nothingness, and wrapped it around them both. Now, only their heads showed.  
  
"Why not..." Itachi muttered. "We could both use the rest..."  
  
And with that, he fell asleep, a protective older sibling cuddling his younger brother.  
  
TBC*  
  
I plan on continuing this ficcie, so like all those other authors out there, I can only write more if you REVIEW!!! *waves flag with REVIEW written all over it* Come on! Review!! You see the flag, right? Right..? 


	2. The Next Morning Or is it?

Chappy two already!! Yaaaaaay!!  
  
Pyro Dragon 117: LOL!! That was really encouraging! Thanks! Now I KNOW I'll write more! Otherwise I'll probably die... O_______O;;;  
  
Yuki-Chan2: Thx! I like young Sasuke too!!  
  
Zephyr Wind: Thx! That was one of my favorite parts to write!  
  
I have three reviews already!  
  
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!  
  
Let's all cheer!  
  
Yaaaaay!  
  
M.k is actually cheering!  
  
Yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!  
  
M.k: No I'm not! It's just... Um... Shut up!! *runs away*  
  
Me: riiiiiiiiiiight...  
  
M.k: Hey! Don't act like I'M the one who's weird! Aren't you the one who went on a rabid sugar craze, nearly burning down the candy store to get your stupid Sweet Tarts??  
  
Me: DO NOT INSULT THE SWEET TARTS!! THEY WILL COME BACK TO BITE YOU!! HIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! *tries frantically to scratch out M.k's eyes*  
  
M.k: Aaaaaughhh!!!! Just read! Read and saave meee! Never give her sugar!!  
  
ME: SHUT UP!! SUGAR MAKES ME WRITE FASTER!!  
  
Let's get this show on the road!!  
  
**********************(°°)**********Man I love kirby! Heeee...*****  
  
The next morning, birds were trilling as the mists rose off of the ground. It was another perfect day, sort of like yesterday... But Itachi didn't care. After all, he was still asleep.  
  
But he usually wakes around this time, so...  
  
Suddenly!...  
  
Itachi awoke!!  
  
In all his splendor, sending his shadow fleeing across the floor... As he streched and yawned, wiping a dirty hand across his mouth, getting any remaining drool away before actually going out to face the world.  
  
At about... Itachi checked the clock that appeared from the handy ol' vortex of nothingness.  
  
8:30. Yipee. Another fun-filled day of... Left-over homework.  
  
'Maybe I can get Sasuke to do some of it...' Itachi thought. He smirked as he thought of it. Almost reassuringly, he looked down at his little homework- doer... And, found he wasn't even there.  
  
"Sasuke? Sasuke?!" Itachi was getting frantic now. "SASUKE?? SASUUUKKEEEE!??!" He screamed very non-Itachi-like, tearing apart the blanket that was at his feet, as if expecting Sasuke to magically appear from under the little blob of blanket that couldn't even cover him anymore, thanks to Itachi's... Ahem, shredding skills...  
  
"SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASUUUUUUUUUKKEEEEEEEEEEE??????!???!?!?!!??!?!" He squealed out, sounding much like a pig from yelling –squealing, sorry- so much.  
  
"SAAAASSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUKEEEEE..?" Itachi was now sounding like that freaky kid that always appears in those horror movies, always wheedling menacingly...  
  
Itachi was now almost at full-insanity-mode, with the foaming mouth, bloodshot eyes, and the autographed Brittany Spears picture clutched firmly in his hand, and brain constantly replaying the most annoying Madonna song ever. Yessiree, Itachi was a fan.  
  
(it just seems that Itachi is obsessed with Brittany Spears... Let's go check his room, shall we...? Me and M.k: walk into Itachi's room, get surrounded by a blinding... YELLOWNESS!!! Yes, folks, Itachi's favorite color is yellow.)  
  
((Maybe I'm just being mean to him because I didn't get a lot of reviews. Or maybe because I didn't get my average dose of SUGAR...) Me: A-HEM... M.k: Whaaaaat??!? What do you expect me to do when I find out where your stash of sugar is? Leave it alone...? Me: YES. M.k: Well, SORRYYYYYYYYYYY!! Me: Shut up. These guys(who are still reading) probably want use to get on with the story. M.k: Ok.)  
  
'Wha...? Where is he??!?' Itachi thought once his brain had settled down enough for him to think properly.  
  
Finally, after giving up searching for Sasuke(which took a record-breaking, whopping, THIRTY SECONDS!! (Yes, you heard me. THIRY FRICKIN SECONDS!! Ain't it a lot?), Itachi finally wandered into his kitchen.  
  
When he finally looked up, his eyes dilated until they were just the teeeniest, tiniest little dots. Yes, folks. His kitchen was messy. It was so messy, there wasn't a pile of DIRT anywhere else that wasn't dirtier.  
  
Itachi's jaw promptly fell, breaking through the floor, and through the basement(let's just suppose they HAVE a basement, ne?), and finally, through the concrete. After that, he uttered a few shocked squeaks, and looked at the stove.  
  
THERE, standing on a chair, was little Sasuke. In his chubby little hand he evilly held a spatula that Itachi later named Bob, Lord Of All Things Dirty, and would promptly bend it out of proportion until it was a nice, mettalic little ball sort of thing.  
  
Sasuke was grinning at Itachi in a way that made him pale. His little brother raised the frying pan up so that he could show Itachi what he was cooking. Itachi finally summoned enough courage to look in the frying pan, was...  
  
JIMMY!!! OH, NO!!!! SASUKE WAS COOKING JIMMY!!  
  
'NOT MY PET EGG!!!!' Itachi thought horrified.  
  
"NOT JIMMY!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(huff)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOO(huff)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!" Itachi screamed loudly, dropping onto his knees, holding the eggshell that would never be healed, or mended again.  
  
That was when, finally, Itachi woke up.  
  
It had all been a nightmare...  
  
Phew...  
  
Itachi then walked into the kitchen, wiping sleep from his eyes, when he saw Sasuke merrily frying away at something.  
  
"Hey, Sasuke," Itachi said nervously, "What're you cooking?"  
  
Itachi leaned closer to get a view at whatever his brother was brutally torturing in his Frying Pan Of Doom, as Itachi would later call it, when Sasuke looked at him.  
  
"NOOOO YOU CANNOT LOOK AT THE PREEEECIOUUUSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! IT'S MIIIIINEEE!! MY OWN, MY ONLY... HIISSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!" Sasuke shrieked, being surprisingly loud for a five-year-old.  
  
He then leapt up at Itachi, wielding his Frying Pan as if it were a mace, banging him mercilessly until whatever-it-was that he was killing –I mean- cooking, fell out.  
  
Guess what, Itachi? Sasuke must be out to get you.  
  
'Cause from the Frying Pan fell, fruitlessly, Itachi's fowly friend(lol tongue twister), Jimmy the Egg.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOITCANTBENOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO(huff)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Itachi was mourning the painful demise of his little shelled friend when, suddenly!!(I love that word...)  
  
He woke up.  
  
Just like that.  
  
But was it for real...?  
  
Itachi looked up at the sky from the window, up through the clouds... to the magical place of Authors and Authoresses.  
  
"Hmm..." Itachi pondered, gazing up.  
  
Me: ...What?  
  
SUDDENLY!!!!  
  
...  
  
...  
  
Itachi heard his name being called. 'What the..."  
  
"Oh, that can't be Sasuke calling my name for help from a very scary place. He's in the kitchen." Itachi stated.  
  
OH, BUT IT WAS!!!!  
  
And from somewhere he didn't want his little brother to ever venture. His room.  
  
Sasuke was shocked by what he saw. Vast numbers of pictures!!! They were everywhere!! All over his closet, all over his drawers, and all over his bed!! It made Sasuke wonder how Itachi fell asleep, with all of them... But, most surprisingly, and most horrifyingly, all of them were of... *********** TBC  
  
I know, I know!! This chappy was really short!!!  
  
So who're the pictures gonna be of...? You guys choose. Should I go on ahead with the young Sasuke/Itachi plot or go on ahead to when they're older? You guys also choose. Make me proud. Lol. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW It's the only way I'm gonna write more!!!! REVIEW A LOT!!!! PWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE!!!! 


	3. When Quilts Attack

Woohoo!!! Third chappie's up, people!!! Enjoy!!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: Do I have to state the obvious? I don't own Naruto, and never will... sobs in a corner  
  
Due to only one person suggesting who the pictures would be of (coughcough Pyro Dragon coughcough!!), the piccies will be of... well, read and find out. Not that it'll be a surprise... Coughs hesitantly  
  
Me: The third chappie's finally up! Now people will (hopefully) review!!  
  
M.k: ...And the significance of this is...?  
  
Me: ...I DUNNO! smiles stupidly  
  
M.k: Shut up, will you?  
  
Me: ...You're mean.  
  
M.k: I know.  
  
Me: Meanie.  
  
M.k: ...  
  
Me: Meanie.  
  
M.k: ...You can stop, you know...  
  
Me; Meanie.  
  
M.k: sighs  
  
Me: Meanie.  
  
M.k: Just read, will you people? This could take a while...  
  
Me: Meanie.  
  
M.k: Shut UP ALREADY!  
  
Me: ...  
  
€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€¶  
  
He was surrounded! Never had he seen so many pictures! They had to be everywhere!! It looked like, to him, that Itachi hadn't cleaned his room for at LEAST three months, there were so many pictures!  
  
And how did he get so much, anyway...?  
  
Sasuke felt overwhelmed, seeing so many pictures of Linkin Park...  
  
He began spinning around frantically, searching for a means of escape, but wherever he turned, more pictures loomed!  
  
Sasuke began to foam at the mouth, eyes bugging out, as he searched, frantically, for a means of escape from this confusing nightmare.  
  
AND ALL THESE PICTURES HAD TO BE OF THE SINGER HE WASN'T ALLOWED TO LISTEN TO YET!!!!  
  
Aw, maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan... And he really, really, reeeaaally wanted to listen to one of their songs! But, alas, he wasn't allowed. As we told you. Before.  
  
"IIITAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPP MMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE(gasp)EEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(Wheeze, wheeze...)" He screamed at the top of his lungs, the force of the yell propelling him over onto the bed that belonged to... DUN DUN DUN!!!  
  
ITACHI!!!  
  
And, on it were...  
  
Pictures of Linkin Park. Sewed. Onto. The. Quilt.  
  
Was there no end to this madness???????  
  
He began flailing his arms around frantically, eventually trapping himself in the Linkin Park-dedicated quilt.  
  
He later named it the Quilt of Doom. For good reason, in his eyes.  
  
We'll never really understand him.  
  
"MMMMMPPHHHHHHH!!!!! IIIIIITTTTAAAAAAACCCCCHHHHHIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!" He barely managed to scream, getting quilt in his mouth.  
  
(We cut to a shot of Itachi vacuuming the... Kitchen, listening to... DUN DUN DUUN!!  
  
Linkin Park.)  
  
Itachi gracefully swept the... Vacuum cleaner over the vinyl tiles of the kitchen, humming to the tune of one of Linkin Park's songs. "Hmm, hmm, hmm, yeah, baby! Wooooaah! Hmm, hmm, hmm..."  
  
(Back to Sasuke's little adventure in his big bwuther's room...)  
  
"GGGAAACK!!! I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeee..." Sasuke sang, springing out of his former quilt-y prison, dancing around Itachi's bed in joy.  
  
"I'm free... Uh-huh... So free... Freeeeeeeeeeee!"  
  
Well, he was, until he got tangled up in the quilt again.  
  
"MMMMPPHHHH!!! NOT AGAAIIIIN!!!!!" He whined, struggling fruitlessly.  
  
He whipped his head around in his new prison, foam dribbling down his chin. He wasn't very happy anymore, and started to sniff.  
  
"W...Why does this al..always happen to me?" He whispered, trying to wipe his eyes.  
  
All he succeeded in doing was getting more 'Linkin Park' germs on him, which made him even MORE unhappy.  
  
"W...WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH H!!!! ITAAAAACHHHIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!" He sobbed, crying anime-style and getting his big brother's quilts all wet.  
  
In the kitchen, Itachi's special 'Linkin Park' sense began suddenly tingling!!  
  
"Oh, no! He CAN'T be in my room! If he is, it'll scar him for life! AAAAHH!!" Itachi worried, running around in circles, nervous sweat pouring from every pore in his body.  
  
"I KNOW!!! I'LL SAVE HIM!!!" He shouted out, after running uselessly around in circles for the past 5 minutes.  
  
"I better go change, though... My current outfit clashes with my room..." He muttered, gazing down at his clothes.  
  
MEANWHILE, in a desperate battle against Itachi's Linkin Park plushies(that Sasuke just found out turn on when something's thrown into them; in Sasuke's case, he was that something, and was thrown into them by a rampaging quilt gone bad...), Sasuke was up against the wall, waving a plastic Linkin Park in front of him threateningly.  
  
"If you don't GET AWAY FROM ME now, I swear you'll feel a world of hurt!" He warned, holding the Linkin Park action figure like a sword.  
  
But, to his discomfort, they just kept approaching, their mindless plushie eyes wide open, plushie arms held out in front of them, and moaning like zombies.  
  
Now, Sasuke's personal space is pretty big, except when it comes to trying to tackle down Itachi. I'd say it'd be about... Seven meters, at least. And the plushies were already waaaay past that little boundary.  
  
Sasuke's personal-space-mechanism kicked in, and he started to growl like a dog, foaming at the mouth like one, too. His pupils contracted until they were just tiny dots, and he went down on all fours.  
  
He began to act like a guard dog, growling and snarling and sniffing and... Other guard dog stuff. All the while leaping into the massing horde of Linkin Park plushies, tearing apart the ones closest to him into tiny, tiny pieces.  
  
Now, the plushies, being pluchies, didn't stop. Even though Sasuke tore up at least fifty of their ranks. They sure didn't know when to quit.  
  
So, Sasuke tore 'em up also, with his teeth and hands. When he finally finished his Linkin Park plushie massacre that would put the future Uchiha Massacre to shame, Sasuke finally returned to normal, and sat down on top of the bits and pieces of the former plushies.  
  
"Hmm... I guess I don't need Itachi's help anymore... He really needs to clean up in here! I mean, look at this mess! Fuzz everywhere!!" Sasuke chided to the air, looking around him.  
  
SUDDENLY!!!  
  
Itachi's door came crashing open, revealing someone or... someTHING... In tight spandex pants, and underwear on his head, with a dish towel tied around his neck as a cape.  
  
"NEVER FEAR!!! SUUUPEEER ITACHI IS HERE!!!! Wha..." The mysterious (yeah, right...) figure shouted, looking at the plushie massacre before him.  
  
"W...what happened? What happened to my... My poor, poor plushies!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" He sobbed, dropping onto his knees, making his spandex pants tighten even more.  
  
Sasuke's eyes widened at what he saw just come crashing through his brother's door, claiming to be a super form of him.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! THE PLUSHIE KING!!!!" He screamed, immediately darting under his brother's bed. (Yes, Itachi- I mean,- SUUUPEEER ITACHI was wearing Linkin Park underwear on his head. Pathetic, ne?)  
  
Super Itachi was too engrossed in what lay before him, that he didn't even notice Sasuke spring under his bed.  
  
"Noooo... My little plushies... Why does fate have tobe so cruel?? Why, WHY???" He mourned, cluthing the plushie remnants to him lovingly.  
  
As he sobbed over his plushie fuzz, Sasuke peeped out from under Itachi's bed. He kept gazing at Super Itachi, wondering when he would just get out of the doorway.  
  
So, being the impatient kid he is, Sasuke flashed out from under his big bro's bed, stepped over Super Itachi's back, and ran to his room.  
  
"Oof!" Super Itachi grunted, being pushed face-first into the pile of plushie fuzz. When he raised his head, his face was covered in fuzz. He ended up looking like a freaking snow-cone gone insane, wearing very, very tight spandex pants, and a dish towel as a cape.  
  
"How did this happen?" Itachi sobbed, blowing the fuzz sticking to his mouth away.  
  
Then, as if his day wasn't bad enough, he suddenly got mauled by a rampaging quilt gone berserk.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Itachi screamed, being tossed from side to side by the Quilt of Doom.  
  
"OOF!! AAAAaaaaaAAAAAAAaaaaaAAAaaaaAAAAAAaaaaAAAHHhhHH!!!!" He screamed, getting smacked into every wall in his room at least twenty times each.  
  
"GRAAAAAARRR!!!" Roared the quilt, waving Itachi to and fro.  
  
"Maybe this will be enough to defeat the Plushie King..." Sasuke muttered, packing various explosives into a back-pack, and tying three machine guns to his back.  
  
The little G-I-Joe then set off on his quest to defeat the 'Plushie King', not knowing that the 'Plushie King' was already dealing with some problems. Big problems.  
  
Really big problems.  
  
Really, really big problems, such as trying to read a book that magically appeared from a random vortex of randomness that just happened to pop up randomly, called 'How To Deal With Quilts That Have Gone Berserk.'  
  
The Quilt of Doom, now thusly named, raised Itachi above its quilt-y head, and opened its quilt-y mouth, revealing...  
  
Huge, pointy mountains of quilt that would probably act as teeth. In a situation of random randomness, which this was.  
  
"Uh oh..." Itachi gulped, looking down at the Quilt of Doom.  
  
€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€¶  
  
Me: So, how was this chappy of random randomness so far? Random enough? Sort of? Well? Anyone?  
  
M.k: Maybe they're all of 'fighting rabid quilt monsters', Young... sarcastically sighs  
  
Me: REALLY?? OH, NO!!! THE WORLD IS DOOMED!! EVERYBODY RUUN!!! screams like a girl  
  
M.k: watching Young-Sasuke run around in circles, screaming his head off ... sweatdrops Maybe now would be a good time to R and R, people...  
  
Me: gets grabbed by a random quilt monster that randomly appeared from our random vortex of randomness AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!  
  
M.k: sweatdrops 


	4. Dog with a Flamethrower

Fourth chappie of My Likkle Memories!!  
  
Let's all cheer! Yaaaaay!!!  
  
I actually got off my butt to do something... (:D But, hey, it's a change...  
  
M.k: No duh...  
  
Me: Be quiet. I'm working on it.  
  
M.k: Suuure ya are... Like you're working on cutting down on sugar??  
  
Me: coughs Shut up!! You know that that ten-pound bag of pure, natural sugar was never going to last a few days...  
  
M.k: It was supposed to last THREE YEARS!!!!  
  
Me: sweatdrops Oh... Heh-heh...  
  
M.k: Just... Just read, people...  
  
Me: Looks like SOMEone's cranky... giggles insanely  
  
€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€¶  
  
Itachi never really liked quilts that much, that's what he would probably say to you after his little... Ahem... Experience... With one a few days ago.  
  
The few days ago that he was masquerading as...  
  
DUN DUN DUUUN!!!!  
  
SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPEEEERR ITAACHI!!!!!  
  
So, let's flash back to that moment in time when he was bravely battling the berserk Quilt that basically went, 'BOO!!'  
  
(Me: Sorry... Couldn't resist... Heh... ;;)  
  
Beginning Of Flashback Thingie:::::  
  
"This can't be good..." Muttered Itachi as the Quilt of Doom slowly lowered him down into its Quilty Mouth of Quilt-ness-y DOOOM!!!!  
  
SUDDENLY...!!!!  
  
Itachi heard a rhythmic tromping, coming down the stairs.  
  
"HEEELLPP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Squealed a scared Itachi, who was now sporting bug-eyes as his tight, tight spandex pants began to slip.  
  
His dish towel fell down over his back, and randomly wrapped around his head so that he couldn't see.  
  
"AAAAAHHH!!! I CAN'T SEE IN THIS RANDOM MOMENT OF RANDOMNESS!!!" He shrieked, flailing his arms around.  
  
"GRAARRR!!!" Roared the quilt, getting angry with its 'prey' for moving around so much.  
  
With Itachi's super-sensitive hearing, he could hear the TV in the other room.  
  
"Oh, NO!! My show's on!!" He gasped from under his towel/cape/cloak/THING.  
  
Just then, a heavily-armed seemingly-sadistic-terroristic Sasuke tromped in, expecting to see the 'Plushie King' riding his Quilt Monster, AKA the Quilt of Doom.  
  
"What the heck...?" He murmered out loud, attempting to scratch his head, but only succeeded in jabbing a stray AK-47 into his armpit.  
  
"What's the Plushie King doing, getting throttled by the Quilt of Doom?" He said out loud, gazing at what was before him.  
  
"Oh well... More of an advantage for me! Heeheehee..." He giggled(yes, giggled!) evilly, sort of like Orochimaru when he gets his hands on a Sasuke plushie and begins to do... Ahem... Nasty things to it.  
  
So, in a very G-I-Joe-like way, he took a grenade, pulled the pin out with his teeth, and threw it into the mouth of the Quilt of Doom.  
  
"GRAARRRR!!!!" It roared, not knowing it was supposedly going to be blasted to little, quilt-y pieces.  
  
Then, Itachi dropped his book.  
  
Into the Quilt of Doom's mouth.  
  
With the grenade.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOO(gasp)OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Itachi shouted in slow-motion, as he watched his beloved book fall into the Quilt of Doom's mouth.  
  
Yes, Itachi's dish towel somehow unwrapped itself from his head.  
  
In a random event of randomness.  
  
Such as this one.  
  
"KAA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Went the grenade, and the explosion made a tiny mushroom cloud in Itachi's room.  
  
When the smoke cleared, the underwear was burned off of Itachi's head, and his face was charred, as he gazed down forlornly at his now forever-to-be- ashes book.  
  
"That had a bonus chapter on how to expand your Linkin Park collections..." He murmered softly, a stray, anime-like tear drifting down his blackened face.  
  
The Quilt of Doom, however...  
  
Was greatly angered by the explosion that had blown a hole in its quilt-y side.  
  
So, it began to whip Itachi around, once again, using him as a fly-swatter to rid it-self of the nuisance that was Sasuke.  
  
"GRAARRRRR!!!" It roared, trying to hit Sasuke, but amazingly missing.  
  
You see, Sasuke was extremely nimble for one who was holding a two-ton bag of fire-arms.  
  
"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhHH HHHHH!!!!" Screamed a high-pitched Itachi, who was being waved around the room by a berserk quilt gone bad.  
  
"AAAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaHHHHH!!!!! Ow! AAAAAAAAHHHH!! Ow..." He screamed, like a fan-girl getting chased by the evillest of fan-girl fears, a likkle wubber mousie.  
  
"GRAAARRRR!!!" Roared the quilt, waving him above his head again, bringing Itachi crashing to the ground as it tried, once again, to fend off the little annoying insect(Sasuke) who kept shooting it with an AK-47, hoping to defeat it once and for all.  
  
"HA!! Got you again! Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!" Sasuke taunted, dancing nimbly around the Quilt of Doom, singing in an annoying kid voice at the Quilt of Doom.  
  
"GRAAAAARRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!" The Quilt of Doom roared, sliding closer to Sasuke, so that it finally cornered the little fire-arms-wielding nuisance.  
  
"Hahaha- What the...?" Sasuke uttered, as he bumped into the wall. As he looked up, he gazed into the Quilt of Doom's nonexistent eyes, and stated, "so you cornered me. Watcha gonna do?"  
  
SMACK!!!!!  
  
The Quilt of Doom brought Itachi down like a fly-swatter, just catching the heel of Sasuke's kid-size G-I-Joe boot.  
  
"AAAAHH!!! MAN DOWN!! MAN DOWN!!" Sasuke cried, tripping and falling over.  
  
He pulled out a walkie-talkie, and screamed into it, "I NEED REINFORCEMENTS!!! MAN DOWN!! MAN DOWN!!! HURRY!!!"  
  
An ominous shadow looked over him, causing him to drop his walkie-talkie. My my, he has a lot of G-I-Joe stuff, doesn't he?  
  
"GRRAAARRRRR!!!!!!!" It bellowed, preparing to bring Itachi down on top of him.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..." Sasuke cried in that weird, low- pitched slow-mo voice.  
  
That is, until his reinforcements arrived.  
  
Smoke spilled into Itachi's room, followed by, for some strange reason, Akamaru, holding a flamethrower.  
  
"Bark!" Barked Akamaru, ready to squeeze the trigger.  
  
"GRRARRR...?" The Quilt of Doom roared, confused.  
  
When it finally turned around, it dropped Itachi in shock, next to Sasuke.  
  
"Bark bow wow!" Akamaru yelped, pressing the trigger.  
  
FWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!  
  
"GRAAAAHHH!!!" Screamed the soon-to-be-burnt-up Quilt of Doom, as the flames licked at its oh-so-comfy-edges.  
  
As the Quilt of Doom caught fire, Sasuke turned to Itachi. "Why are you here? What happened to the Plushie King?"  
  
"Umm..." Itachi said, finished with mourning over his doomed book, "He... Was blown up by the grenade you threw..."  
  
"He was?" Sasuke asked, curiously.  
  
"Yep!" Itachi smirked, then frowned. Where did his Aniki get all those firearms?  
  
"Sasuke... Where did you get those weapons?" Itachi asked, concerned like a good big brother.  
  
"Uhh... Internet?" Sasuke replied, looking up at his bro.  
  
"...Sure. Whatever you say." Itachi said, ruffling up Sasuke's hair.  
  
Sasuke helped Itachi up, and Itachi helped Sasuke put out the smouldering body of the Quilt of Doom.  
  
"Thanks, Akamaru! Tell Kiba I said hi!" Sasuke said, petting Akamaru.  
  
"Woof!" Akamaru barked, waving his tail, and leaving.  
  
"Aniki... Can we have lunch now?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his tummy.  
  
Itachi gazed down at his brother, still dressed in his G-I-Joe uniform. "Sure... What do you want to eat?"  
  
"MACARONI AND CHEESE!!! MACARONI AND CHEEEESE!!!!" Sasuke begged, clinging to his brother's leg.  
  
"..." Itachi gazed down at Sasuke, who was currently being dragged across the floor by him. "Sure... Why not?"  
  
"YAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!" Sasuke squealed happily, letting go of his big bro's leg. You can't make macaroni and cheese if someone's clinging to you, right?  
  
That's the way Sasuke thought.  
  
Until he saw Itachi was wearing spandex.  
  
"Umm... Itachi?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Why are you wearing spandex?"  
  
€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€¶  
  
TBC  
  
Me: Soo... how was it?  
  
M.k: you better tell him if ya liked it... The sugar's going to his head.  
  
Me: ignoring M.k so, if ya want me to continue this story, REVIEW!!  
  
M.k: It's what makes him write faster.  
  
Me: I'm trying to see if I can get 20 review on this one fic, but I guess I shouldn't be too optimistic... cries in the corner  
  
M.k: sighs you see that button in the lower-left hand corner? The one that says 'review'? Click on it. You'll save us from a world of suffering. turns head in my direction 


	5. Author's Note Sry people!

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Ok, people, I'm SOOOOOOOOOO sorry for the hella-long wait!!!!

It's just that, well, I have the fifth chapter ready and all, but my stupid laptop isn't allowing me to upload the chapter. In fact, it's even going through a whole bunch of weird malfunctions of sorts, that are deleting some of my near 100-page stories. And those took me so long too... Sniff. It's like it's trying to ruin my life...

CURSE YOU MALFUNCTIONAL LAPTOP OF HELL!!!!! CURSE YOU!!!!!!!!!

So, I'll see if I can transfer the information to my computer as soon as I can.

Without my laptop blowing up in my face.

So sorry.

Please don't kill me... ( °.° )


	6. When Phones Ring

YOSH! CHAPTER FIVE!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN! Well, I own THIS particular story, but not the actual manga or anime… if I did, Itachi and Sasuke would he having mad, incestuous love and both would be enjoying it.

…

Me: Eh-heh-heh-heh… Sorry for not updating for a bit…

M.k: **coughs**

Me: what? It's not my fault my laptop went psycho and deleted all my stories!

M.k: aaaactually… It's your fault that you didn't update for so long. You could've just written this chapter up on this computer, you know.

Me: **grumbles** why do you have to be so… so…

M.k: abnormally brilliant?

Me: annoying?

M.k: HISSSSSSSS!

(Cat fight ensues)

Itachi was happily walking along, proud of himself for the amazing, high-risk feat he had just pulled. Well, not amazing to us, but to him it was.

He sighed, as he recalled what he had done.

FLASHBACK OF DOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Why are you wearing spandex?" An innocent Sasuke asked, eyes wide with six-year-old curiosity.

"Uhh…" Itachi hexingly hesitated, graciously glancing to the left and right, sneakily searching for a way out of this perpendicular predicament. (Sorry about that…)

"Well, Aniki?" He asked innocently, blinking.

"Hey, look! A distraction!" Itachi cried, pointing in a random direction.

"What? Where?" Sasuke asked in amazement, turning around. When he turned back to face his brother, he was…

Oh-so-unpredictably, gone.

"Oh fudge-cicles…" Sasuke muttered, pouting.

END OF DA FLASHBACK OF DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Itachi swelled out his chest with pride, and continued smexily strutting down the sidewalk.

IN A RANDOM HOUSE IN KONOHA!

Naruto and Sasuke were sitting upon Naruto's comfy bed, a wireless phone perched before them, with the words 'NARUTO'S! BACK OFF!' scrawled all over the back of the mechanical device.

The two boys were currently staring at the television that Naruto had swiped from Iruka's room, just a few minutes before.

Naruto was about to speak, when Sasuke shushed him with anxiety. "Shh, Naruto! It's on!"

Some animated pictures flashed by, before coming upon a certain scene.

"Hey, waddya wanna do tonight, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, goofy, fox-like grin in place as he spoke along with the show.

"The same thing we do every night, Naruto. Try to take over the world!" Sasuke replied, menacing shadow covering his eyes.

"They're Pinky and the Brain, they're Pinky and the Brain, one is a genious, the other's insane…" They sang gleefully, rocking backwards and forwards.

"They're laboratory mice, they're genes have been spliced, they're Pinky, they're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, NARF!" They chirped, screaming the last part at the top of their young lungs.

They then continued to sit and watch the show in a brain-dead trance, before… Naruto got an inkling.

No, not an inkling.

An inkling's inkling.

An inkling of an inkling's inkling.

An inkling that brought forward the rise of an inkling of an inkling's inkling.

Whish soon turned into something much more…

Inkish.

BACK TO WHEREVER ITACHI IS!

Itachi was once again strutting without purpose throughout the streets of his beloved village, glancing at all the wares that the venders were offering.

He hummed in amazement at some of the items, and snorted in vain at others, all the while keeping up his front of cool smexy Itachi-ness.

That is, before he got a feeling.

A feeling that warned of an inkling.

A feeling that warned of an inkling's inkling.

A feeling that warned him, nay, **cautioned** him, of an inkling that would bring forward the rise of an inkling of an inkling's inkling.

A feeling that caused him to involuntarily shiver in the mid-summer's heat.

Even though it was 30 degrees celsius.

Ah well… Feelings can cause one to involuntarily shiver, can't they?

So now Itachi was wondering what this feeling that warned him of an inkling, nay, an inkling's inkling was trying to tell him.

But he would never be prepared for what he was about to experience.

BACK WITH SASUKE AND NARUTO!

Once their beloved show was over, Naruto asked Sasuke what he wanted to do next.

His friend stared at him for a second, before finally rebutting with, "I dunno, what do **you** want to do?"

This caused our brilliant Kyuubi-holder to pause for a second, before hmm-ing in thought as he brought a hand to slowly graze his chin.

After a grand total of ten minutes, which consisted entirely of Naruto hmm-ing and hah-ing, and of Sasuke coughing quietly, staring at his friend to hurry up, Naruto came up with an answer.

Not just any answer.

The answer that was the result of an inkling.

Of an inkling's inkling.

Of an inkling of an inkling's inkling.

Of an inkling that brought forward the rise of an inkling's inkling.

Yes, **that** inkling.

"Hey, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, snickering at his own brilliance.

"Hmm?" Sasuke replied, laying down to stare at the ceiling.

"You wanna… **You** know…" Naruto asked, eyes curved happily.

"…?"

"**You** know…" He urged, nodding down to the phone so happily nestled at his friend's feet.

"…? What? Call someone?" Sasuke questioned, drawing a blank on what Naruto was trying to get across to him.

"Yeah yeah yeah!" Naruto panted, bouncing up and down like a dog.

"Call… Who?" He shaped the last word perfectly, glancing up at the still-bouncing Naruto.

"Itachi!" Naruto snickered, finally ceasing in his constant bouncing to explain his grand scheme to his friend. "We can, you know, prank call him so, you know, he doesn't know what's going on and we, you know, prank him!"

Sasuke stared at Naruto.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared some more.

And stared some more, until he had to blink or risk his eyes drying out.

"Prank call…" Sasuke started slowly, still staring at Naruto once he blinked.

Naruto furiously nodded his head, fox-like grin plastered all over his six-year-old face.

"…Itachi…" Sasuke finished, still staring at Naruto as if he had nothing better to do.

Naruto snickered, before covering his eyes with an arm and rolling over with uncontrollable laughter. "Yes! YES! **YES**!" He gasped, eyes creased in an amazing amount of amusement.

"…" Sasuke thought for a moment, before turning once again to glance/stare at his friend. "…OK."

Naruto paused, wondering why he had agreed so suddenly. Usually he took an hour at most, thirty minutes at least.

This time, it took him only five minutes!

'Gosh dingity darn!' Naruto thought, pondering over this fact before he suddenly lost interest in the topic and handed Sasuke the phone.

He watched eagerly as Sasuke took the phone, and started to punch in the numbers before raising it to his ear.

BACK TO WHERE ITACHI IS! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Itachi was now sweating down the back of his shirt with anxiety as to what his feeling meant.

'Jesus freeze us! I wonder what it means.' He hastily ran through the crowd, glaring at anyone who got in his way.

SUDDENLY!

Itachi whirled around, before coming face-to-face with…

GASP!

A little girl glancing up at him with a skipping rope.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!" He squealed, before dashing away at the speed of sound, waving his arms in the air.

The little girl just stared after him, before shrugging and skipping away into the sunset. Even though it's only noon.

Itachi glanced out from behind the telephone post he was currently cowering behind, and clutched at his rapidly beating heart.

'Holy crap-flinging monkeys!' He thought anxiously, checking to see if the young girl that was causing him such terror was still there.

Once he caught sight of her, he hastily hid behind the telephone pole once again, before slowly re-emerging to check once again.

Once again, he ducked back behind the pole, before slowly re-emerging. He continued this pattern for a while.

Duck, check.

Duck, check.

Duck, check.

Duck, che—**HOLY MAJOR BASEBALL BAT**!

'She's still there…' He mentally groaned, before he finally decided to settle this thing.

"Psst… **Hey**… Little girl…" He whispered, motioning her over (1) with secrecy only he could manage in his distraught state.

She briefly glanced over at him, before shrugging once again and walking over to him, dragging her skip rope behind her.

"I'll give you… Twenty bucks… If you forget this whole thing and don't tell anyone about what just happened!" His whispered hoarsely, pulling out the bill and shaking it in her face.

The Little girl's eyes followed every move the twenty note made, and she snatched the bill right out of his sweaty, nervous hands before giggling and stating, "ok!" She then proceeded to prance away, tucking the twenty into her pocket.

"…" Itachi watched her go, before shrugging and muttering to himself, "oh well. At least **that's** all over and done with!"

He then turned to leave, when, SUDDENLY!

His cell phone rang.

"OMFGWTFBBQ BASEBALL CARDS!" He shrieked, before running off into the distance, leaving a dust cloud hovering in the middle of the street where he once stood, and villagers who just wondered what was going on before sighing and going back to what they were originally doing.

It was a while before he finally decided to answer his still-ringing cell phone.

He tentatively held the phone up to his ear, getting a sinking feeling deep in his stomach.

"Hello?" He weakly asked, eyes darting all around him, searching for any enemy/innocent civilian who might decide to jump him while he was answering his phone.

His eyes immediately widened, and his face drained of whatever color it originally had, when he heard the raspy, grating voice at the other end of the line. "Seven days…"

Sooo… How was that for you? I decided to make it a bit long, since I didn't update in a long time and all…

I'm soooooooo sorry that I didn't update any sooner! I hope this makes up for it. I'll try to update quicker, so that this doesn't happen anymore. Well, if 'anymore' even exists…

…Yeah. See you next chapter! Reviews are really the thing that make me write faster!


	7. Enter the RanchMan

Well, here's the seventh chapter. Sorry it took so long... Ah well. Read and enjoy. Then please, review!

Disclaimer: Is Sasuke a tease to every character in the series? No? Well then it's not mine.

() 

_"Seven days..."_

A very girlish shriek blasted out at him from the tiny speaker on Naruto's phone, causing the grinning Sasuke to wince in pain. Scrunching his six-year-old face up in annoyance, he held said object away from his ear before turning to glance at Naruto, who even now was fighting to contain his laughter. The young Uchiha paused and stared at his friend, whose cheeks were puffed out slightly as he kept his jollies in.

Sasuke thought it made him look like a demented frog.

When the endless shriek finally wavered and died down, Sasuke brought the cell phone back to the side of his face and started to breathe heavily into it.

Naruto, hearing this, burst into laughter, clutching at his sides as tears of amusement ran down his pudgy, six-year-old face.

He tried to ignore the noisy blonde rolling across the bed next to him, and finally paused in his rasping. "Hello?" Sasuke asked politely, frowning when the line went dead.

"Hello?" He continued, staring at the phone slightly before pouting when Naruto tore it out of his grip.

"That's not the way you're supposed to do it, idiot," the blonde giggled cheekily, pressing the phone to his face and taking a deep breath.

Sasuke paled. "You aren't..."

Naruto grinned mischieviously at his friend.

"Oh no..." He sighed and covered his ears with his hands, glaring to the side as he awaited the inevitable.

The blonde watched his reaction, before bursting out in a fit of giggles. "I... I can't do it! Your face is... Too much for me..." He play-flopped over the side of the bed, pretending to die.

Sasuke glowered at him. "At least Itachi doesn't know it was us."

Oh, but he did.

He recognized those voices immediately. And so here he was, glaring down at his phone in anger from his position in the tree he scurried up when that menacing (though he'd rather die than admit it) voice started to rasp through the speaker.

But why would Sasuke do such a thing?

He wouldn't--it was very simple. His blonde friend probably put him up to it. Heck, he even heard the boy's loud, grating voice in the background.

It still came to the same ending.

Itachi would have to get them back.

A pasty-white man sauntered down the street, smiling his paedosmile at the children who floundered around.

Smoothing a nonexistant wrinkle out of his outfit and tightening his purple bow around his waist, he glanced around him, studying the children.

They were all adorable, true enough, but then again... So were all children around this age. And, heavens above, he knew what happened when they grew up. He shuddered, not wanting to think about the ones who... Ugh.

Absolutely ghastly... No. He didn't want that to happen again. He wanted an apprentice. A beautiful child. Preferably of Uchiha origin.

Gods, but they always turned out beautiful...

So when he pulled out a wrinkled picture from his pocket, he smiled his paedosmile again. That child would do perfectly. He turned over the photo, studying his writing with golden, slitted eyes.

Uchiha Sasuke.

Perfect.

Naruto glanced up at him when he heard that. "Of course he doesn't! He was too busy screaming like a girl," he finished smugly, grinning at his friend.

"No he didn't!" Sasuke defended his hero automatically, the act having been ingrained into his six-year-old mind since he was but a wee lad.

Naruto just stared at him.

He sighed. "Fine, fine..." Sasuke stared at Naruto's ceiling. "I'm bored," he piped up suddenly, glancing to the side at his friend, "can we go outside and play or something?"

The blonde sat up. "And stalk Itachi endlessly throughout the day, causing him infinite amounts of anxiety and stress?"

Sasuke nodded slightly at that, even though he knew his brother would sense them. Itachi was good at everything. A feeling of resentment welled up inside of him, but he was still too young to understand what it meant and so, like any other child unable to express the more complex of emotions, he forced it down and promptly forgot about it. "Yeah. Stuff like that."

Leaping off of his bed, he grabbed his friend's hand and literally dragged him through the door, almost running over his guardian in the process. But being six, and with the fact that when you are six you are very, very small, he scampered under Iruka's legs with Sasuke still in tow and ran outside.

This was their favorite place to hand out, he knew. Not from any amount of stalking, mind you, but from common knowledge.

The not-yet ANBU captian waited patiently for the two michief-makers to finally arrive, watching a young child twirl himself around and around and around and around and around and around until he finally fell over and bumped his head.

Itachi sighed slightly. Naruto was not much better when it came to mindless things like that. Sasuke, on the other hand... He was mature for his age. It made a brother proud... He wiped a nonexistant tear from his eye, before stiffening and leaping into a tree.

No, he would never stalk his otouto to the point of near-obsession. Of course not.

That was only on Tuesdays.

After laundry.

And tea.

The blonde was still running, which Sasuke found slightly annoying. They both knew that the park was around the corner, and thus should not be in such a hurry to reach it. But something was wrong.

Naruto wasn't letting go of Sasuke's hand; he kept glancing around as if he expected someone to leap out and shout 'Booga Booga' at them. Not that it would be scary, mind you, just... Kind of wierd.

When they finally dashed into the park, both boys definitely knew something was wrong. There was nobody there. Not a single person. Well, except for that Yoroi kid, but he didn't really count.

"S...Sasuke?" Naruto stammered, clutching his friend's hand tightly, tugging the other boy closer to him, suddenly despreate for some form of comfort in the sudden emptiness around them.

Sasuke glanced over at him for a second, but even then was it for too long.

A shadow darted in front of them, causing both boys to scream out in terror as they clutched at each other. The person's golden, snake-like eyes studied the young Uchiha with a hidden intensity, causing said child to shiver in terror.

"Hello there, children," he spoke, an impossibly long tongue emerging from withing to lick at his pale lips.

"I'm looking for a little... _Help_."

Both boys shrieked.

TBC

Well, there's the seventh chapter. My god, how long has it been since I last updated? doesn't dare to look Well, since the last promise I made didn't exactly go as planned, I'm going to have to try something different.

I'll update when I can. Read and Review!


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